Day 146 b): Paranoia

This warrants a separate post:

I recently wrote about paranoia in several posts (in reference to religion, as well as in reference to my neighbors conspiring to boil my ass during every single shower I take). I feel compelled to add to this strand. Not only do I increasingly feel as though the makers of fortune cookies are trying to drive me insane (rather than fortunes I have lately been getting smart-ass comments about my life, as well as overt threats in my cookies). Who are the people that write these fortunes anyway? And why do they enjoy torturing me? Similarly, see my horoscope for the day: “the government has spent thousands of dollars training you as a highly efficient killing-machine, so please try and act like one fom now on.” Also, I am hearing reports that our area here in Chicago might be visited by “a rare strand of Americanized killer bees, who, unlike their African cousins, just want to hang out and watch TV all day.” I am taping my windows shut.


1 Comment

  1. Remember, always look behind you, and never look anyone in the eyes. If they ask you what’s wrong, bust out the pepperspray.

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