Day 228: Wednesday Series Premieres–WTF???

I’m procrastinating. <<I edited the time stamp, as you may realize at this point.>> Instead of continuing to write I just took a brief break to see what the fall series premiere hype is all about. abc’s Dirty, Sexy Money died for me after five minutes. The capitalist asshole family arrives to the tune of a Rage Against the Machine song. Seriously–what the fuck??? So, that’s over. (It’s still on as I am typing this, but I won’t watch it again.) BTW: thumbs up for the Sutherland family. Father and son are truly selecting great TV roles–there are probably really ugly Republican vs. Libertarian catfights in their house around Thanksgiving. And to think I liked The Lost Boys.

I just watched NBC’s Bionic Woman in its entirety. C+. Maybe. Pretty weak pilot. Maybe it will pick up in the future–however, there is, as of yet, no indication of an interesting, complicated plot. I kinda had the feeling I knew the show. Oh, wait…that’s because it’s a nostalgic assortment of 1980s sci-fi cliches (which is strange, considering it is a remake of a 60s/70s show–this begs the question: why this remake at this point in time and why does this point in time become replaced by the past??? sneaky logic these people!)

 Basically, what we have here is The Matrix camerawork and cinematography (on a TV budget) re-telling Blade Runner (complete with an only slightly removed and thinly disguised Daryl Hannah–Pris character). Oh–I  believe they actually stole some of the Vangelis tracks from the Blade Runner score–that may be the parts I liked best (because I closed my eyes and imagined I was watching Blade Runner). The nostalgia mode is completed by various random insertions of classic punk rock songs, including work by Iggy Pop and the Teddy Bears (which was earlier this year also featured in a Cadillac commercial, if I am not mistaken). Not sure what the punk rock thing is supposed to do there. I guess it is supposed to establish the female central character as a tough, alternative, single woman–which might have worked, had it not seemed as though she was sort of scared of the background music and  made me want to rescue her, take her to a pink bedroom filled with unicorns and play her some Justin Timberlake. Oh, we also have some Species meets Universal Soldier going on here, yet not a single trace of any motivation behind the supposed political motives and the drama in the past the show seems to assume we were familiar with. It tries to create suspense by introducing antagonistic characters, however these are as remarkably flat and underdeveloped as Thomas Friedman’s account of a globalized world into which this technoscience account of our present would fit so well. Can’t yet tell who the female main character reminds me of. I have to say I like the fact that she’s not too obviously attractive. She is a less powerful, slightly disoriented and cutely deer-eyed version of Jennifer Garner in Alias, which, however, also means that we don’t buy the strongest, most dangerous woman in the world thing–she still plays too much into the “please help me through this, I’m, so cute” male gaze of visual narration. Oh: there is also a German bad guy. How very Cold War! I guess the makers really feel like they should cover the James Bond cliches as well–outstanding commitment to the anxiety of influence, I must say. I can’t quite figure out who the German actor is, though. Does anyone know specifics?

BTW: I have some intentional tense-shifts in there, which grammatically indicates my inkling that this new show will be a thing of the past very soon, if nothing drastic happens to the plot.

Oh, wow! The music in the abc show is so hip it’s making me sick! Millionaire-hipsters??? (a good word combination to try and sound out while you vomit, no?  Now, if you will all excuse me–I have to run…)


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